Clearly the universe knows i can handle this latest round of play. I shocked myself - running as fast as I can while trying to not spill my cell-activating chlorophyll I shouted 'I hate you!' to someone who hours later, would enter my sacred space and make me scream something else.

I have been hanging out in the extremes of slut/nun (consciously, I mean) and now wondering curiously what this middle earth place IS - and thanks to a magic star configuration - I have someone to practice with. Someone who I am both disgusted by + attracted to - simultaneously. Considerable options influencing with energy fields relay full tilt boogie, I talk shit to my girlfriends to aid in my fractured blindspotting.

This is an experiment of love. Or perhaps a level of love unattached, yet highly intimate. Passion and play hover in mixed company of little sleep and psychedelic divinations. Moments of feeling I were in high school, wanting everything but slightly to shy to try. I released it and forgot myself...my stories, and just fell into.the.love.

I apologized n corrected. I listened to me interrupting, and also giving space. I witnessed myself loving, laughing, feeling worthless, and feeling fully freed...I understand now what Dali means by 'I am the drug!' swimming in my wholeness as less judgmental, more fulfilled and forgiven. I feel myself weighing nothing, made of ether.

Bliss breath
blowing smoke
through thick spider's web

On my recent Thai travels, I learned a walking meditation that allowed the pace to slow down to highest awareness possible. Every step questioning and watching where it will go, how it will step. This approach allows us to see very carefully what we do thousands and thousands of times, something we normally don't pay attention to until the next bang evolutionary misstep.