Perception upgrade in process, with a leaning suspicion of Chinese herbal tonics amplification currently looks as this: arguing with myself concerning a belief in the solid form of things. Eyes are witnessing a sort of sliding matrix, slightly different than the psychedelic way, as if one day i will be able to put my hand through it. Am i delusional or just intergalatic? I have scaled over to a new viewpoint, and can see out farther now at my own rediculousness, so very emotionally human and also sooooo very tripped out on living this cosmic agreement, in this form - thanks to mysterious who?

I was born ten days late (from my due date) and back 'then' there was no induction, dates determined by divine design natural flow rather than a scheduled appointment. I was predicted to be a Scorpio. I make up my mother was quite uncomfortable and ready when she went into labor during a visit to my Grandparents house. My uncle and grandfather were making her laugh so hard she started to have contractions. What a blessing to be born into a laughing/crying riotous family. Italian-rooted buncha defiant nutjobs who hold disapproval and it's flip side simultaneously. 'You are a fuck-up-but i love you' kind of intended thing spinoff spending part of 3D life trying to undo.

One time my uncle tickled me so incessantly it hurt, i was begging him to stop. Years later while studying massage i learned that pain and tickle sit together on the same nerve endings. The pain/pleasure barrier of our being, our ability to sensitize/desensitize ourselves. Combined expression happening on the physical plane as well as the layers of orbs and stardust. It is only when we soften, succumb, simplify can we continue through the karmic treadmill turntable thing. Strength in softness to balance the aggressive limbic and adrenaline-charged manifester. 

I am talking about Yin nature of receiving and trusting. The feeling after the Crash! then the WAAAH!! Ma scooped you up, and embraced your entire body with her huge loving arms. 'Everything is alright...' isn't that what Mama says when she wipes our tears? Similar energy washes after a huge laugh or cry, wondering what just happened - empty and clear. No thought in the orgasmic moment. No one named, or unnamed God gets in the way of human-tastic feeling sublime bliss in-stilled-ness in a universe that doesn't let up- ever. One big human curiosity is addiction to that 'death' moment, and how to get to it again and again...how many ways to get off? How many ways to chase it, covet it, purge it? Mother may I?

There, there...have patience, and know that 'it' comes from any and all sides. It is abstract and we have to be alright with that too.  

Once i was told that rocks do not speak English or Spanish, and its vibration will not be heard unless we listen in a remembering elemental way. A shamanic (a word entirely overused but appropriate here) coexistence,  dancing inbetween realms, who is both instrument and orchestra conducting and playing simultaneously.  In gratitude for being part of it in this way, right now. Mother shows you if you just stop rebelling and fussing like a whiny tot. Say thank you, go wash up, time is wasting. Or is time just lining up like it's been doing ceaselessly for infinity? Set your space boogie board to 'Aquarian age' please, and in the words of Curandero Don Jose - 'unfasten your seat belts.'