I run into Psalm flying from her apartment, she pauses to hug while bouncing like a jogger at a red light. She has a look of ecstatic overwhelm on her face. Her dream is blowing up in a good way and she is like ~ shit, it's really happening! She laughs 'I created this!' and i reply 'And it's getting bigger and bigger!!' Receiving bounty while knowing you are consciously tapping into abundant worth is high muse-infused life living art.

Later, i arrived at Occupy LA to the voice of my friend Priya, a human rights lawyer of Indian descent with a fierce musical talent she is hell bent to share. She is seated on the North steps of LA's City Hall, functioning as a stage for performers and various speakers. The surrounding grassy area is covered with tents and hand-made signs, the cacophony of energies mixing here stinks formidable.  Some spending extended time there note that the occupation was not supposed to 'look' like this, homeless + heroes together in supposed solidarity. I love being here because every time i come ~ i feel my life like a pancake being flipped.

I skip up stairs to see Priya unraveling from behind the microphone. People below are jeering and booing 'NEXT!! GET OFF THE STAGE!!! Who knew it would turn out to be Indian ragas that would set off the mentally unstable guy holding the twisted staff pole high in the air? I look at her, placing my hands on her shoulders 'Priya, thank you for holding the Drishti, because even though these people are occupying, they still need a good shaking, so go ahead! Irritate them! And happy birthday!' She breathes in deeply, nodding with that chin thing she does, black curls dancing around her smiling courageous face and tones into the microphone.

Local Yogis drop in to activate the space with spiritual vibes. Today's teacher is Kishan Shah, he is setting up mat spaces and smudging the area with sage. Many occupiers have joined us under the shadeless burning sun, hands sting in every contact with the mat, Asana practice sweating in full-tilt Tapas. Kishan leads us into a flowing warrior sequence while down below a large group is gathering, voices of heated deliberation expand while seated in warrior 2 we send out love and tolerance. The derelict yelling dude now has a bullhorn, he is shouting into it 'ENOUGH WITH THE MEDITATION!! LET'S GET BACK TO THE REVOLUTION!!' From their mats yogis are yelling 'THIS IS THE REVOLUTION!!' In ardha chandrasa Kishan says 'the sum of all parts working as one' he realizes what he said and repeats 'the SUM of ALL parts working as ONE!'

A guy runs frantically through the class, he is beside himself. 'PLEASE' he shouts 'The chemtrails are in the clouds! They are going to kill you! Pleeeeeease protect yourself, put on some sunscreeeeeeeen!' i didn't have the heart to tell him sunscreen also has a shit-ton of chemicals, and we were going to die anyway. He was crying in his pleading as he was being escorted down the stairs. While chaos ensues, i am experiencing a vitality and ease like never before since my yoga practice began back in '94. I weigh nothing and yet entirely rooted to this asphalt base.

Seated in thunderbolt zazen we hesitatingly prepare for meditation. Kishan is sitting across from me, eyes wild in heightened state of NOW - like ' fuck i don't know what is going to happen next.' Harnessing fearless courage in his inhale, he instructs the class 'Close your eyes. I will be your eyes for you. I got your back.' Bandhas secure like a vault door closing, while opening space for prana to surge, swim, fly, parkour and slackline in my body. The spiritual and the material molding, overlapping, weaving continuously as a nirvanic pulse, i achieve samadhi in the most concrete of jungles.

The shadows were facing each other in this dynamic potent moment. Yogis pushing away the hard-to-look at, others wishing the spiritual mystics would disappear, both denying rights to each others existence. The shadow has a bullhorn and it's yelling ENOUGH.

Kali, the goddess of destruction (or deconstruction) from far away appears as black and scary, but up close it is discovered she is actually All the colors. YES it's bigger than You, it was created by You. You are creating space for play, for experiment, for love and acceptance. You have been working and training hard, why be surprised when it shows up to greet You? There is in our collective history of killing the messenger, and those of us who are being called to teach are feeling that patrimonial overwhelm, and we hold the ability and fortitude to kill the paradigm instead. Let's have each others' backs - because the only way out is indeed through - maintain the Drishti.

It may be the four planets in Scorpio or that the end of the world is tomorrow (again) but i can report feeling like i am being pressed through a cosmic sieve, taking it's whole Kali Yuga with it. I have faith in balance, negotiating with my physical body during this karmic swoosh with the force of galaxy's edge or eye - who knows? who remembers? A collective recall to when we were gods with the ability to resonate and go beyond material boundary...I remember making the pyramids, do you? It is more than us and it is us.

Imagine yourself the tiniest particle, a nucleus, a quark, an orb ~ whatever ~ super teeny weeny and you will feel yourself flying through space. You are a superhero! Or you are being presented the option to be one at present, and if you are not doing what you love you are missing out and accepting less, you have forgotten...most likely it is both, duality is such a fucking drag sometimes. It is there to help us SEE and as it is said in yoga practice, injuries most often happen during the transitions. It's not just pose-pose-pose, the stuff in between is the journey, the playground for dedicated luminaries, it's the gooey inside.

At Bhaktifest i attended a workshop called Mother Medicine. Now my friend and teacher Psalm Isadora, is releasing a CD of goddess kirtan songs called Mother Medicine. I wish to share the notes in a poem style because that is the way i notetake. I debated to whether to post this here and now because it deviates from what i think my blog to BE, reflect, or be seen as...but then i remembered it's my fucking blog, it's the end of the world and fuck it. Enjoy the medicine.

Throwback to primal history
Overlooked Goddesses 
Who do you think birthed these Gods? 

Searching for answers in cycles
Ruled in harmony with the intuitive nature
Return to the original Mother Wisdom

Ritual to remember and learn
Same moon but different faces 
Markings
Initiations 
Harmony with the natural selves

Ancestral suffering
Abuse 
Separation into oneness 
Birth UNcomfortable 
it is hard work
PUSH 
There is no option 
It is coming! 

What can I heal?
Dedicate
Integrate
Liberate
No escape
Take the truth real and raw
Call into action
You are being called into action

Fear means facing something unknown
Fear is your ally
False Evidence Appearing as Real 
We beg for the Goddess 
and we get Barbie

Denial of the Self in the Natural
Cycle Rhythm 
Arrogance to tears that have
No alphabet
Strikes with formidable reminders

Give energy
Receive it back 
Reciprocity 
Removes stagnancy 
Unearths repressed sickness

Let's worship each others sacredness
Beings have soul purpose
Transmute pain into power, art, worship
Tasting something larger than Self
Doorway to whole heart living
What we are preparing for
Magic
Creating magic

Experiencing magic 

Totally within our grasp

As we peel the veils that make it appear 

As invisible or far away

Reach within

FLY 

 

David has returned from Sedona after a one-year absence. He has been offered a position as Tonic Alchemist for a Scandinavian 1-per-cent-er. Tonic Alchemy is creating drinks and teas totally jacked up with chinese herbs and other ninja activating ingredients. His humor is capricious, throwing mental curveballs that require your mind to bend a-la Dali, performing cartwheels in the sandbox of his unique mind. So now, for the record, in one living space we have: one double Sag, one Double Leo, and one Aries, a complete spectrum of fire signs. Surprisingly not a recipe for disaster but rather a lively/riotous/no-bullshit evolution zone where no conversation topic is off-limits. Combined powers influence our tamasic Double Virgo roommate, noticeably activated by all the Raja energy. Attention-deprived components are composted and/or incinerated on a regular basis, fire burning through the physic stagnation that requires shift.

A couple of weeks ago after Parker's show i ran into Justin, whom I hadn't seen in about a year. He is a cacao master who has been recently dubbed 'Minister of Chocolate.' I share my story about the cups (previous post) unwrapping a moment of overlap + confirmation to monkey calling delight. Ajna level attraction requires no exchange of phone numbers, intuitive signal clearly beyond our mutual comprehension. We bow to the multiple galactic do-si-does in it's healing hilarity. He looks me in the eye, 'i go about my day wondering where i am when i am...and then 'this' happens, and i say 'well, of course!'' We cannot stop running into each other. What appears as a hug and animated banter on the exterior is actually an astral wizard council gathering arranged by the cosmos, no questioning, only enjoying the Triple Gemini Pranic bliss blast. BEing with Justin is like riding on a rubberband rollercoaster without a harness and So What! Fling me! Undoubtedly I will either bounce back up or fly, go ahead, fling me so i can find out!

All of this is happening in the context of this transformational teacher training. My yoga family is reporting experiencing waves of growth-expanding opportunities. Yin energy unearths deep listening to complex triggers while remaining open to the mystery, surrendering to the Great Mother. Simultaneously Yang energy stabilizes and beings motivate from determined strength and clarity. A friend offers that i am in perfect timing due to acceleration/2012 stuff. I envision the alignment of the planets when i was born, this karmic treasure map, imprinted with suggestive clues about how to know myself, suggest places to dig up and sift as i dance around the wheel of time? Kicking up dirt i boogie with complete trust in the formless while making wild monkey calls. OK end-of-the-world, i'm ready for ya.

A woman walking her dog carrying a Starbucks paper cup sets me off. My inner judge scowls, 'if You KNOW You are going to Starbucks, take a fucking cup!' All i notice is trash. I calculate: 30 days = 30 cups + 30 lids + 30 of those brown cardboard thingies to keep the fingers from burning is overflowing from the bin liner of my brain. My table-turning teacher asks, 'so...Gina - if You are seeing this, what is it saying about You? What do You wish to throw away? What garbage do You want to rid yourself of forever?' Hmmmm. Irritations provide clues into profound reflection of Self. Ever curious to 'what' result, the gravity-defying frizzy-haired scientist tweaks slight adjustments to the ongoing experiment. I ponder/wonder in this time of full moon Aries, guardian of the cardinal fire, igniting new paths to burn, recycle and reuse this sacred pranic fuel.  

Tantric Kundalini teacher training is in fast full swing, intense daily downloads without sufficient time to integrate chafe deeper emotional triggers rising for resistant review. Not embodying responsibility for my Power becomes thwarted in self recline ~ as if giving the remote to another to change my channels. This is MY broadcast and what i offer becomes the resonance i provide in this energetic balance. I am not alone, the universe supports in the weaving of creating the ToBeAnnounced, the yet uncreated. From darkness springs light shedding on the 'How' to do life as a whole n complete being to the best of my ability within the mystery.

Huge traveling electrical expansions are my experience this week and push my physical and energetic bodies to the limit. A simple Halasana with feet pushing against a wall for 8 minutes vomits an explosion of energy into my pelvic floor, causing illium to separate and grow space from an intimate point from deep cry within to unseat tears from various lifetimes, injuries, and loss. As i move into teachings surrounding the heart chakra there is tingling in my tailbone which quickly turns into strong electric currents scribbling all over my root, sharp lightning shooting up my spine to land behind left eye, facial bones spreading as third eye shifts to wide angle. I hold hand to forehead as if to catch it and pull it out, cycle it back to its origin. Is this ecstatic pain Kundalini uncoiling? Or simply a taste of what is yet to come as the progression in the practice intensifies, burning psychic garbage as i go.

Balance...is what Tantra is ultimately about, nothing taken to an extreme. Although it is exactly in the extremes of this experience where i locate, curse, and proceed with caution. 'I have overdone it again' drives me to the other extreme, which looks like punishment and withhold, and equally power diminishing. However, even in this short-fuse-daze i lay in juxtaposition. Allowing the chitta to hover unobtrusively, yin listening activated while deactivating the Interrupter who wishes people to be more succinct and remember that a conversation is an exchange rather than a lecture or spiel. Compassion knows that people are not used to being heard tend to run on if unopposed. Clearer emotional communication is required to share where i am 'at' and having my needs met without hurting others is a delicate stroll as if trying to walk only on the stones in between all the precious undergrowth alive and fertile with possibilities.

I have no beginning or end, i am merely a journey: earth woman in search of accumulating more healthy love for myself (and other paper cup carriers.)