the longing part of me 
wants more
wants it all
it's clear pushing and
poking are leaving others
choking in a vampiric vortex
sucking the energy 
into the void
breathe-less space 
sounds like 
white noise 

all parties wishing to end it 
either knowingly or 
on subcutaneous level 
like when the clogged up leaves
between river rocks 
finally push through 
from the back up pile up 
piled high to tumble 

shall i run screaming? 
I am awkward!! 
I don't deserve love 

wait, wait, hold on 
eye to eye
with hiccup of mind
you nonsensical swine
this bullshit storyline
is not even mine! 

The prosperity pipeline meeting up with me is now recognizable in many forms, showing up as new friends, new crushes,  new opportunities akin to breathing in fully when one's nose is deep in a freshly-cut rose, yes I am walking and living in a new way. I have spent the last few days in deep admiration, and I dare not release it just yet, for it requests cuddles, wispy kisses n massage. Spirit manifesting in my field of material, drenched in blessings I exchanged for play. 

The experiment of Camp Grounded has been of the highest caliber of absurdity + integrity, an unveiling of a people who are willing to be at their most delicious rediculousness, as carefree kid, screaming and skipping to certain danger of total liberation.

Choiceless but to trust, to float, to be taken on this magic carpet/bus/rocket/spaceSHIP!! It has been proven many times over, and now (in this now) I choose to believe. I believe in the way I feel when I behold someone appreciating someone or thing so much they are intoxicated while becoming one with the thing. Mindfulness is so fucking hot.

To constantly trick the brain/ego/patterning/conditioning that surrounds all of us is the endless route I travel. I forget to relax - and when I return to it, I rejuvenate and grow like snowball tumbling down sticky love mountainside, I realize the break contributes to the advancement of the process.

Who's excited??

A pivotal non-experience turns real into reality. Manifest unmotivated me. Connected coincidences link up like a big gold chain from the 80's and I realize it's better to know nothing. To do nothing.

I am not me, I am not an ego living in a skin suit, I may be a random nothingness fractal floating - no, soaring/flying/rocketing through space. I have no idea where space ends and begins, and how much of that space is actually me, or not me.

Accepting the now as everything out of my control, grasp, and statistics calculator subcatagor-izer manufacturing, creating bullshit storylines, fantasies, how many times can I do the same interview?

Laughter and Tears are the same thing, this line is also blurred, as with the space. It is the vibrations keeping up feeling separate. Our innate tuning mechanism precision as cloudy quartz, do any of us really know what time it is? The time when we see the results of our misfunction extrapilated death spiral? That many of us imagine changing it, and yet it still exists because the ideal needs something to feed its energy. Snake's tail soup anyone?

I will not change anything, because there is no me, it is empty, yet full. It knows not why it is here in this cosmic swimming hole clothes off, flirting, back and forth between the dimensions. No more wondering where 'I' went because it's all now - relax in now. I imagine that I am all of that, woven into it's magic fabric repeating, repeating, repeating....

No time like now...